The Grandsons Of the Marauders
by Draco Malfoy is Blonde
Summary: They are the Grandsons of the Marauders, the son's of Harriet Potter and Draco Malfoy and they were half raised by the Weasley Twins to boot. Minerva sent a pained expression to the heavens on their first day of school.


_AN; If you're interested, this is a spin off of This Is War, if you would rather not read it, Harry's a girl, Draco's her husband and no one but Snape, Sirius and some others died in the war due to Voldemort being a lunatic, Bellatrix adopting Harry and Snape having a daughter. Oh, wow, sounds good doesn't it? ;P._

* * *

The grandson of a Marauder, sons of Harry Potter and they're red-haired twins half raised by The Weasley Twins (yes that warrants capitalization) to boot.

Minerva could feel herself aging ten years watching the two eleven year olds walk through the center of the great hall with the other first years to be sorted. Identical, of course Scorpius and Sirius Malfoy were both red haired, tall boys with typical Malfoy silver eyes. McGonagall gave the first years a warm smile from her spot at the Head table while Remus Lupin began the sorting.

Minerva clapped politely as each of the children were sorted, recognizing most of them as grandchildren of her students - the Potter Twins not the only reason she felt old, then.

It was everyone's surprise when Scorpius Malfoy was sorted into Huffelpuff and Sirius Malfoy was made a Slytherin. Minerva sighed a breath of relief with the rest of the hall as the potentially troublesome pair were split up and the sorting appeared to be undisrupted.

Her relief was short lived.

Just as Minerva stood to welcome the students and begin the feast the candles in the Hall shook, then exploded. The noise was shocking but not unbearable and instead of the usual sparkly-fire-like substance associated with fireworks, these ones splattered the whole hall with brilliantly colored viscous stains.

Many students screamed, most had their hands above their heads and a great deal more laughed when they realized what had actually happened.

Minerva looked around her now brightly colored students - and dining hall - with a horrible sense of dread.

How in the bloody name of Merlin had anyone pulled this off?

The walls and roof, where the large splatter was undisturbed by students showed that the splatters had spelt words on the inside of the building, combined with the enchantment on the ceiling it now appeared that a large, yellow 'POO' was floating in the sky. As well as 'EXPECTO PATRONADS" in quite a nice shade of red and "VOLDEMORT'S NIPPLE" in a Weasley-Proud orange.

Minerva looked at all the amused but innocent faces, completely unable to pin any kind of suspicion on anyone let alone punish them.

"I suggest you wipe off your plates as best you can and let the feast begin!" Minerva said gesturing so the elves would know to send the food up.

Upon sitting back in her seat Minerva realized yet another prank had been played, and every item of food on the table was a dashing shade of bright color to match the graffiti on the walls.

"It appears our newest prankster likes paint," Remus informed her, he had begun to eat the food, which was just unnatural colors.

"Any ideas?" Minerva asked, eyes once again scanning the chattering students for a guilty look among them.

"My money is on the Potter twins, Narcissa Potter and Teddy. Opening feasts are hard to pull off, because the trap has to be set right before leaving -"

Remus' worlds trailed off as Minerva raised her eyebrow.

"It'll wear off, and I'm sure our pranksters will be revealed soon enough." He said as seriously as possible.

Minerva kept her gaze pinned on the uncomfortable Werewolf. Then she grumbled and returned to her brightly coloured meal.

Throughout the meal they discovered all of the floating candles were in fact waterworks as they exploded loudly over the tables - thankfully not at all damaging their meal - splattering hall and student with smaller mock swears.

Minerva herself now sported the words "Genitals" on her left cheek.

You can imagine how quickly Lupin stopped laughing at her when she glared at him. In revenge she didn't bother telling him he had "unicorn turds" in a lovely shade of magenta on his forehead.

After she let them know of the school rules - the important ones - and gave a lengthy lecture about pranking, and how it is not acceptable behavior she allowed the students to return to their dorms.

She headed through the trophy room straight to her own office to finish the start of school paperwork when her sixth year Gryffindor prefects came bursting into her office.

Both were red faced and quite disheveled.

"Cartoon velociraptors..." The first one puffed out.

"Ate the fat lady," the second supplied. McGonagall could only stare at them.

"Excuse me?"

As she said it some of the old headmasters screamed, and along the wall of her office entered a brightly colored cartoon velociraptor. Two more followed it in and with toothy grins they jumped into the portrait of Dilys Derwent and ripped him to shreds.

"I say!" Screamed Fytherley Undercliffe as Derwent pulled himself together - literally and smiled before attempting to use Armando Dippet as a human shield as a second group of velociraptors came into the room.

"Hey!" Dippet screamed, scrambling out the top of Derwent's frame and accidentally sticking his head up Headmistress Phyllida Spore's skirts.

"Dippet! Ugh! Arggh!" Phyllida was carried off in the mouth of a velociraptor before Dipped could be properly scolded.

"Dear Merlin," Minerva whispered forlornly as the Previous Headmasters and Headmistresses of Hogwarts were assaulted by cartoon dinosaurs.

Minerva turned sharply at the sound of familiar laughter, Severus and Albus were at the back of the room far away from the commotion having a merry time.

"Shut up!" Minerva snapped, only causing them to laugh more and she left the room with the two Gryffindor prefects behind her.

"This is a nightmare." Minerva stated walking towards the Gryffindor common room, where the multicolored students were calmly watching the cartoon velociraptors run around with bits of the fat lady in their mouths. The head of the painting was screaming wildly.

"Dear lord," Minerva muttered, with a flick of her wrist she opened the portrait manually. "Thank god its Friday."

The students were laughing as they went into the common room.

Minerva met with the other teachers to figure out how to remove the veloceraptiors. The portraits of knights - Sir Cadogan was slaughtered ages ago - but the others were rounding up and Slaying the velociraptors.

"Will they just wash off?" Neville asked, conjuring water and a rag and rubbing the wall. Indeed the paint washed straight off.

"Mr. Filch," Minerva asked, "Would you please?"

Filch grumbled in protest but went to cleaning the walls of paint, the bright graffiti in the great hall would not be removed though. In the Headmistresses office the portraits were arranging themselves and collecting their disembodied parts, some, like Derwent needed the help of his colleagues to be reassembled.

"My apologies Headmasters and Headmistresses," Minerva said solemnly but she couldn't help but laugh at Severus's sour expression in his frame as he fished his right hand out of the cauldron he was painted with and smashed it back on his wrist.

"Potter brats," Severus mumbled, "No doubt."

"They're known by Potter," Minerva agreed, "But the twins are technically Malfoys."

"Certainly no good will come of them," Severus said, "Despite being a twat in school, Draco was quite smart. Coupled with Miss Potter's..." Here he sneered, _"Talent,_ for trouble I'm certain they will give the reputation of the Weasley Twins a run for their money."

Minerva agreed wholeheartedly and sat down at her desk to try to get the stains off her robes and skin.

* * *

The next day was Saturday, thankfully, after spending most of her night trying to remove the graffiti with no luck. Minerva wandered down to breakfast through her special corridor only to stop dead when entering the great hall.

"What the-"

"Morning Minerva!" Professor Sinstra looked completely unworried.

"What-"

"I believe our Mystery Troublemaker has done it again."

"Dear Merlin..."

"They're looks have changed, that's all," Aroura told her, "and none of them are poisonous."

The great hall was full of animals. Some wearing house ties and, a few who had managed it, their school robes. They were all squeaking, roaring, chirping, squawking, barking and growling at one another, happily eating the usual people food for breakfast.

"They still understand us?" Minerva asked. Aurora nodded enthusiastically.

"Its, well its certainly an impressive bit of magic," She said, "You would know."

Minerva indeed conceded that the hall full of successful human transfiguration was astonishing.

"I can't even be bothered to lecture," Minerva said sleepily as she flopped on the headmistresses chair. Neville laughed shakily and smiled.

"We'll find them," He said, "At least we know its not a first year, because no first year could do this."

Minerva agreed and pulled a cup of tea towards her.

"I'm still suspicious of those Potter Twins." She vowed. Aurora and Neville Nodded vigorously.

"I've a sneaking suspicion the final Marauder and his cub have something to do with it too," Neville glanced at Remus who surrendered his wand hands held his hand up in submission.

"I had nothing to do with this," Remus said, "Harry and Teddy, maybe, but not me."

Minerva jumped as a a particularly loud roar broke through the general zoo noise and a first year Ravenclaw popped back into human at his seat.

"Aw," he muttered, shooing away a bird that tried to land on his shoulder.

"So how will we find them?" Aroura asked with a wicked glint in her eye.

"I've been looking, they've left no trace." Minerva said. Remus leaned around Neville and tapped her shoulder.

"I think that's a job to leave to the rumor mill," he said quietly, smirking at a large gathering of Slytherin flamingos.

Throughout the day the students would pop back into themselves most disappointed that they were no longer animals, by the time it was curfew, Minerva sent her heads of house to gather any remaining animals and bring them to the great hall.

"Now then," she said, "staff, if you would," She waved her wand at a flamingo and it popped back into a second year Slytherin. A Panda was turned back into a seventh year hufflepuff and a kangaroo was turned back into a sixth year Ravenclaw. The remaining students all turned back into themselves just as curfew struck, Minerva sent them on their way.

"Sunday left?" She asked Remus, he nodded.

"Its likely," Remus confirmed. "We just have to see what they come up with hmmm?"

"Tighten security, double the patrols tonight. I will not be pranked again this weekend."

"Eye eye captain!" Remus said with a silly salute, Minerva rolled her eyes at him.

The teachers were exhausted the next day when they sat down for breakfast in the great hall. No one had been caught out of bed last night and they wondered what these new pranksters had in store for them today. Minerva knew, deep in her bones they would do something big today, simply because why wouldn't you go for the whole weekend? Breakfast ended at ten-thirty on Sundays, and most the students left then, and that's when it happened.

Minerva stood as the squealing started, high pitched shrieks of discomfort, not danger, followed by shout of "Cold" and "Ow!" and even a few expletives.

Naturally the staff table stood as one entity ready to reign down terror on the pranksters, but the prank got to them first.

"Ice cubes!" Remus Exclaimed, "Genius!"

"Lupin!" Minerva barked at him, he had the grace to look sheepish before the ice cubes attacked; straight down the back of their shirts. "Ooh!" Minerva cried, jumping forward, Lupin growled and hopped around shaking his shirt only to have a handful of ice cubes be stuffed down the front of his pants. He squealed like a little girl, causing Minerva to giggle at him.

Slughorn fell off the raised Dias where the staff table was and rolled between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables. Ice cubes relentlessly bouncing off of him. Minerva fought a smile, specially as Madame Pomfrey squealed when Ice cubes went down the front of her dress.

"Hey!" The students flooded back into the hall, conjuring their own ice cubes and attacking each other. Minerva stood at the front of the hall.

"Enough!" She yelled. Ice cubes dropped out of the air and out of the hands of the students with a clatter. Minerva cast a discreet warming charm on herself and addressed her students.

"This behavior is unacceptable " She started with, "Whilst I concede these pranks are harmless enough they are disruptive and intrusive and will be stopped immediately." Minerva fought to keep a straight face as she saw one boy in the crowd, a deep look of concentration in his silver eyes.

"Mr. Malfoy!" She snapped, the ice cubes which were sneaking up behind her as she spoke dropped to the floor with a clatter and Sirius Malfoy straightened his back. Stuffing his wand up his sleeve as he did.

"My office," She hissed, "Now."

The boy left in silence but the hall broke out into cheers and applause when Minerva headed for the front door of the great hall.

In her office, Sirius had the sense to look meek.

"Mr. Malfoy, I hope you realize you'll be punished severely for the pranks performed over the past three days?"

"But Headmistress," Sirius pleaded, "I only did the ice cubes one!"

"Did you now?"

"Yep, I don't know nearly enough magic to do the others."

Minerva scowled at the boy but had to concede his point.

"Very well, you will still have two detentions with Mr. Filch next Friday and Saturday night."

"Yes Professor," Sirius said, his eyes on the floor.

* * *

That wasn't the end of it though. Turns out Scorpius was made a Hufflepuff by a hairs breath, the boy was an extraordinarily well read wizard, and his slightly older brother a singularly powerful little boy, and one as determined, ambitious and down right cheekier than any other student she'd had (cough, Sirius Black, Cough).

The older they got the more elaborate and enjoyable the pranks became.

Student and teacher alike were targeted, though none singled out, and their jokes never caused lasting damage or pain. So were enjoyed by every year and all the staff, though the staff enjoyed them stubbornly - only laughing in the privacy of the teachers lounge. Such behavior wouldn't be encouraged, after all.

Scorpius was pants at Flying, and while Sirius loved to fly he was pants at Quiddich, having tried all the positions and managing to fly off into the distance chasing what he thought was a snitch but was really a bird- to the amusement of his practicing teammates.

They rarely were caught, thought were the only ones to pull such jokes, and they were the troublemakers which finally made Fitch retire.

Retire, loose his mind, interchangeable terms here.

McGonagall kept a close eye on them, noticing all to many parallels between the mischief they pulled and the mischief both the Marauders and Weasley twins got up to in their time.

And Remus enjoyed all their jokes far, far to much.

Damn Masochistic Werewolf.


End file.
